A Man Too Twofold to be Forgotten
by Fear My Butterfly Army
Summary: Kirk's acting... strange. Or rather, snappy.


A Man Too Twofold to be Forgotten

OoOoO

"That's what I said, isn't it?" Captain James T. Kirk snapped irritably, delivering an intimidating glare to the youngest member of the bridge crew, Ensign Pavel Checkov. Checkov, for his part, did not seem to terribly cowed by the furious overreaction, and instead just did as he had been asked.

Uhura shared a glance with Spock, her pretty face managing to look both curious and startled. Spock looked unaffected to most, but the slight cock of his head and raising of his eyebrows was telling of how out-of-character this was for their captain.

Kirk looked like he wanted to sigh, but instead just yanked a hand through his hair and rubbed the bridge of his nose, settling for being frustrated without the waist of oxygen. His brilliant blue eyes lifted to watch Checkov's progress with the navigation of the new route they had been given in the wake of the minor damages acquired by the_ Enterprise_ on their latest voyage. The nearest Starfleet base was already being prepared with the correct parts for their arrival in a day's time.

Still, though, his patience was thin today and it took a great deal of self-control not to shove Checkov out of the way and do it himself.

Closing his eyes again, Kirk slumped lower into the spacey Captain's chair he so adored. When he opened them again, it was to see his first officer and second-in-command, Commander Spock, peering at him oddly. "Yes?" he prompted, tightly, after a few moments too long spent with silent staring.

"Captain, you seem unwell. Perhaps you should visit Dr. McCoy?"

There was a hidden meaning in there somewhere, but Kirk, quite frankly, was too tired to think about it. Instead, he took the statement without the finer nuances and accepted the chance to escape his frustration for just a brief moment.

"Right," he agreed, slowly, "Right, of course. Spock, you have the conn." With that, he stood from his captain's chair and strode swiftly into the elevator, pressing the button that would take him to the residential level.

Just as the door was closing, though, a long-fingered hand halted it and Kirk's second-in-command stepped inside. The small room plunged further into the ship and both stood in mutual silence as it did so, not saying a word for the entirety of the time it took for the doors to once again slide open.

Spock walked in pace with Kirk as he strode down the hallways towards his own quarters. It wasn't until they were outside his doors that he said anything.

After checking subtly to spy any curious bystanders, Spock began, "I take you do not truly feel unwell." It wasn't a question. "It it that which leads me to wonder what exactly has left you unfit for duty today."

"Unfit for—what do you mean?" Kirk scowled, and then shrugged, "I'm just—tired. Had a bad night, you know? Not exactly a violation of Starfleet code or anything. I'll rest up a bit and come back to the bridge, good as new."

"I highly doubt that—"

"Thank you for your concern." Kirk smiled tightly, turning to enter his quarters, but Spock halted his progress.

The half-Vulcan's expression was tightened ever-so-slightly with concern. "Does this pertain to the message you received this morning?" It was odd of Spock to be so persistent in his concern for Kirk's personal well-being beyond what affected the _Enterprise's_ performance, and the captain felt a bit startled by the genuine want of an answer.

Still, though, he was rather not talk about that.

"It was nothing—just a small family… thing. I'm just tired. Not sleeping will do that to you."

Spock had never been called an idiot, even among his cruel Vulcan peers as a child, and he certainly wouldn't be now. His raised an eyebrow in a silent inquiry and waited patiently.

It didn't take long for Kirk to break down. "It was about the death of a _family member_," if the way he said it was odd, neither commented, "But it was a distant relation. My second cousin's first husband's great aunt's brother-in-law's gardener on my mother's side or something. I barely even recognized him."

Because that was believable.

"Am I to understand that you were notified by urgent personal message that your distant relation passed?"

If Kirk didn't catch the sarcasm, he _could _be called an idiot.

Tight smile fading, Kirk shrugged. "Believe what you will."

Silence prevailed for a long moment, sucking the air from the corridor until Kirk began to feel a bit light-headed. It was a stalemate, and both knew which would give in first.

"Alright, alright!" He growled finally, "It was my mom's husband, but he and I never really got on all that well anyways, so it doesn't even really matter. I hardly even knew the guy, what with being in Starfleet for so long now. All the same, like I said, I'm just tired. Very, very, very tired. A power nap should do the trick, and I'll be back to my charming self, good as new." His hand made it all the way to the keypad this time.

"How long had they been married?"

Again with the freakishly nosey questions. "Twenty years." Wait. Why did he even answer?

"So you knew him as a child."

"No." Kirk denied, "I mean; I wasn't even born yet when he was a child. We knew each other throughout my childhood, though, yes."

Spock nodded slowly, as if this was a topic of great interest to him. His intelligent brown eyes studied Kirk quizzically. "Is it not customary for humans to mourn their dead?"

"Well, not if you didn't get along with the guy," Kirk shrugged, "We weren't exactly '_let's-go-play-ball,-son'_ types. We tolerated each other and as soon as I was old enough, I split."

The stalemate returned, and both men stood in silence as a brief announcement about some unimportant ship event echoed in Checkov's thick accent.

It was odd how, as the past year and a half had progressed with their command over the _Enterprise_ Kirk had come to see Spock as more of a friend, rather than simply his first officer. And that now he felt only slightly the desire to haul ass down the hallway and away from this conversation.

Kirk slumped, falling against the wall and dropping his head to wearily rest against his collar bone. "We hated each other—Frank and I. Good men should be mourned, and I won't mourn a man who didn't exist."

A man who Jim had only wished to exist when his mother was off-world and the elementary school parking lot was empty save for him, waiting on that elusive ride home. The man who he had thought had existed when his tenth birthday came with a lesson in driving antique cars. The man who had ceased to exist when Jim had found the acceptance letter for a military school for young boys and had driven that same antique car off a cliff.

"He—Frank was jerk. I don't know what my mom saw in the guy, but he was an idiot and a drunk. He's only ever decked me twice, and both times I provoked him. I guess he didn't want to piss off my mom or something. Whether he hit me or not, though, he was a shitty guy. He's better forgotten."

Spock frowned. "Do you truly think that?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." Clenching and unclenching his fist, Kirk pounded lightly on his leg, but still did not look up to meet Spock's eyes. "He doesn't deserve it."

"You still feel the loss."

It wasn't a question, but Kirk answered anyway. "Yes." The word was a whisper, like admittance of a dirty sin in front of the Pope. And then he broke, burying his fingers deep into his blonde hair and tugging at it mercilessly as his body quivered with nearly nonexistent sobs.

OoOoO

**A/N: My first venture into Star Trek, and I am far from a Trekkie, so excuse any errors. If you notice any, though, would you be so kind as to deliver me a message with the correct information? I do love knowing new things. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed my little foray into Trekkie-ism and such. Obviously, I took quite a few creative liberties with Kirk's past, but that's why this is fan****fiction****, no? Also, Spock was ridiculously hard to write, so if he's completely OOC, I apologize. I am much too unfamiliar with his character ( in the sense that I haven't yet seen the movie a hundred times over to really get a feel for the characters) to be perfectly accurate.**

**On a final note, please remember to shoot me a review about how awful/amazing this piece is and what made it so. Also, **_**I do not own or hold any official part of the creation of Star Trek: 2009 or any Star Trek, for that matter. I am but a lesser writer playing in the big kids' sandbox for a brief time.**_


End file.
